Words When I Have No Words

This has been a hard week; in truth, its been a hard year.  While there is the obvious cause which streams across our screens and feeds, there are also the private ones.  A friend once reminded me how to just be alive is hard, to live each day from sunrise to sundown takes energy and emotion.  Along that journey each day we take actions to decide, help, work, listen, soothe, in the name of both ourselves and of others.  It is no wonder we battle stress, exhaustion, and anxiety.  To do so when faced with adversity that feels like a brick wall overwhelms us.

On Wednesday that adversity felt very real and I felt a level of unease that I haven’t felt since September 11, 2001.  I felt scared, worried, anxious, confused and sad.  I watched my daughter play at the park and I cried.  I swiped my finger across my screen so much in an attempt to process and understand that both my index finger and my mind felt raw.  I chose to stop reading yesterday; unable to focus on what I had hoped to share today, I decided that it was best to share my own path to find light and air so my breath could become deep again.

Words have been a topic in our household recently.  As my husband and I struggle through the journey of parenthood in a very real way, we have to chose our words carefully; both with each other and with our children.  We try to teach our children to use words to share their emotion.  We try to use words with them that are both kind and firm; that soothe and teach.  We recently made a list of words as part of an exercise in a parenting class; words we want our children to embody as adults.  I have found comfort in looking at the definition of words in the past when I am writing; when I am thinking.  So it seemed appropriate today to share definitions of words that are important to me this week; that resonate and speak to me.  In some cases its a noun, in others its a verb.  Some define a feeling, some describe what is important to me.  If you need to take a step back from it all to find a center, I hope that these definitions help you find space and clarity.  It is the time of year when what is important is celebrated; this week has just raised the need to start the celebration a bit early for me.

warmly or deeply appreciative of kindness or benefits received; thankful

of a good or benevolent nature or disposition, as a person:
indulgent, considerate, or helpful; humane
mild; gentle; clement

mentally powerful or vigorous
of great moral power, firmness, or courage

ability to recover readily from illness, depression, adversity, or the like; buoyancy.

the emotion of great delight or happiness caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying; keen pleasure; elation

to soothe, console, or reassure; bring cheer to:
relief in affliction; consolation; solace

the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc., without fear; bravery.

to make the form, nature, content, future course, etc., of (something) different from what it is or from what it would be if left alone

morally excellent; virtuous; righteous; pious

comfort in sorrow, misfortune, or trouble; alleviation of distress or discomfort

a strong feeling of displeasure and belligerence aroused by a wrong; wrath; ire.

disorder; upheaval; tumult; chaos
lack of clearness or distinctness
perplexity; bewilderment

a fixing of the thoughts on something; careful consideration

a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering.

honorable in principles, intentions, and actions; upright and fair

respiration, especially as necessary to life.
life; vitality.

a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.

the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best

the normal, nonwarring condition of a nation, group of nations, or the world
a state of mutual harmony between people or groups, especially in personal relations

Love to you all…



Definitions sourced via
All photos by Adrienne Schell, do not use without permission


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